3 idiot chapter 146

 Episode 146. The Rotten Garbage Labyrinth

"Owwwww…"

"That was the worst..."

"Is everyone okay? No one fell somewhere else, right?"

As we called out, we could hear muffled rustling and voices all around.

"I-I’m alright. Whatever this soft thing is, it cushioned the fall…"

"There was a huge squish sound... What is this? It stinks!"

[This smell’s awful. It’s like a rotting animal carcass…]

We could hear each other, but no one was visible.

Or rather, it felt like everyone was completely buried in something.

Pitch dark—though not because there was no light, but because it was physically impossible to see.

Just as Kana said, the smell was horrendous—like rotting flesh.

On top of that, our entire bodies were wrapped in some kind of soft, slimy, squishy substance.

Let me say it plainly: this situation is the absolute worst.

I might puke.

"W-We’re safe over here too… but where is this? I’ve never seen this kind of floor before."

"Seems like we fell pretty deep. Might be an unexplored area, I’d say."

Just as the two royals nonchalantly chimed in—

"Shut up!?"

GUOOOOO!! Or more like, what was that!?

A distorted, beast-like roar echoed around us—like a speaker tearing apart, mixed with static and something animalistic.

It was a warped, deafening noise that blasted from all directions.

Even the squishy stuff around us started vibrating—utterly gross.

"Azuma, grab the Saintess! Nishida, find Minami! No way anyone's not covering their ears with this noise! We regroup now! Royals, where are you!?"

"“Roger that!”"

"Over here! I’m here! Help, I can’t move at aaaaall!"

"I’m still tucked under your arm, same as always. Right then, let’s get out."

"Gramps! Don’t you dare leave your precious granddaughter behind!!"

Amid voices that clearly lacked any tension, we all squirmed and pushed our way through the soft… stuff.

How do I even describe this?

Like, I guess—yeah. It feels like pushing through an enormous pile of rotten garbage.

That’s how bad it stinks, and it’s warm and squishy.

Definitely not something you want to experience while eating.

"Ughhh, dammit! I can’t see a thing, and it reeks! Where the hell is everyone!?"

"This way, Master!"

"Minami! You alright!?"

"My ears are still ringing but… I’m okay."

In the pitch darkness, a tiny hand touched my helmet.

Definitely Minami.

Which means—

"We’ve regrouped with Azuma too. I’ve got a hold of her. Minami’s got me too."

"I’ve got Nishida holding my right arm and the Saintessess equipped on my left!"

"Did you say equipped!? Azuma-san, did you just say you’re equipping the Saintess!?"

Well… she does breathe dragonfire, so he’s not exactly wrong.

Anyway, we’re all back together now.

Even if we still can’t see a damn thing.

"Alright, listen! Nobody let go, okay? We’re pushing forward!"

"Kitayamaaa! You forgot about me, didn’t you!? My voice is getting farther away over hereee!?"

"……"

She sounded fine, so I thought she was close—but yeah, her voice is kinda distant.

Not like I meant to forget her. I just… almost did.

"Uhh, so… where are you, Princess?"

"Over heeere!"

"Like hell I can tell where that is!!"

I reached around in the dark, but all I felt was that same rotten-garbage texture.

With every move, I’d feel something soft tearing or squishing.

Ughh… it’s disgusting.

As I groped around, I finally touched something that felt different from the rotting junk.

Oh? Is this it?

I grabbed it firmly.

"Ahhn! H-Hey, Kitayama!? Could you not touch weird places like that!?"

"I’m telling you, I can’t see! Where are you!? Is this it!?"

"H-Hey hey hey! Don’t pinch me so hard with your fingertips! My ears are super sensitive! S-So stop—!"

"Quit shouting embarrassing info like that, you idiot! Wait, my fingertips…?"

I was gripping something. Something just a little too big to fit in my palm.

It wasn’t too hard, not too soft either… and it was squirming.

Wait. Did I grab the wrong thing?

I’ve got my gauntlets on, so I can’t feel it clearly, but… what is this?

I gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Pigyu."

"…Okay, got it. Daikonmaru, hold onto that thing."

"Pigyuu!"

Getting a peppy response, we decided to move forward.

Azuma was carrying the Saintess and being pulled by Nishida. Minami was being held by Nishida and holding onto my helmet. The old man I was carrying was being lazy. And Daikonmaru, who I was holding, had the Princess by the ear.

Looked more like we were trying to yank out a giant turnip than exploring a dungeon, but it couldn’t be helped.

Right now, escaping this rotten garbage hell took priority.

"Alright, let’s go, everyone!"

"“Roger that!”"

"Lead the way, Master. I don’t know where we’re going, but…"

"Kitayama, it’s all you!"

"Hohoho. Kitayama, I’m counting on you."

"Ow! That hurts! Don’t pull so hard! My ears! They’ll come off! Seriously, they’ll rip right off!"

"Pigyuu!"

And so, we trudged deeper into the warm, squishy, reeking garbage maze.

My nose might actually break from this.

And every time we force our way forward, we trigger another beastly roar.

God, it’s so loud.

There’s nothing we can do about it right now, but Minami—with her sensitive hearing—must be having an especially hard time.

We’ve got to get out of here fast… or so I was thinking when—

Thunk! Something smacked me right in the face.

"This wall... feels kinda soft. What the hell is it?"

"Kou-chan, what’s up? My nose is seriously dying, so let’s hurry it up if we can!"

That shout came from Nishida, who was clearly putting all his effort into not breathing through his nose.

Hmm… What should I do?

Should we follow the wall and go around it? But we still can’t see a thing...

"Nishida, can you pull out a knife or something?"

"Huh? Sure thing. Minami-chan, hang tight on my shoulder for a sec—I’m letting go."

"Okay, Nishida-sama."

Everyone sounded awful—probably because we were all avoiding nose-breathing.

I get it though. Totally get it.

While I was mulling things over, something nudged against my armor with a clink—the handle of a knife pushed through the squishy muck.

"It’s a carving knife, okay? Want a bigger one?"

"Nah, just testing for now. This’ll do. Thanks."

With a casual reply, I dropped the old man I’d been carrying and took the knife, stabbing it into the wall in front of me.

Like, really stabbed it. No mercy.

And then—

[――――！！]

"God, shut up already!!"

Another roar from the beast.

And still the same garbage-tier sound quality.

That distorted, static-laced howl grated on my ears like nothing else.

So I ignored it and yanked the knife downward with all my strength.

A sick, shlurrrp-like sound rang out as the wall writhed around me.

"...Huh?"

"Kou-chan? Hey, Kou-chan? Am I imagining this, or did the pressure in the goo just get worse? What the hell did you do? Tell me the truth."

"Nishi-kun, this is bad. The whole place is moving, I swear!"

Their worried voices reached me, but beyond the cut I’d made—there was light.

S-See? It’s fine!

Like in those stories, where a strange new world lies beyond the tunnel…

Was what I was going to say—

"Uwaaaaah! Not again!?"

"What did you do, Kou-chan!? We’re being swept away! We’re getting sucked in!!"

"Everyone, hold on tight! Oh, wait. No good. This thing’s not stopping!"

"Masterrrrr!!"

"Hiiiii! It stinks so baaaad!!"

"My ears! My ears are gonna come off! Seriously, they’re gonna rip off!!"

"Hohoho… this time, it’s truly over."

Voices rang out in every direction as we were all violently expelled with a gut-churning splorch.

There was a heavy thud as we hit the ground, followed by the unpleasant splattering sounds of our comrades falling on top of us—along with something filthy being flung all over.

It was bad. It was so, so bad. It stank. It was heavy.

But still.

"HAHAHA! I escaped, you bastards! Now someone get off! I’m getting crushed here!!"

Having finally reached the light of the outside world, I found myself buried under a mound of red-and-black muck—along with the full bodyweight of everyone else.

I’m gonna die. I’m seriously gonna die.

If I weren’t wearing one of those “Hearty Eater Series” suits made by Thoor and the others, I’d be completely squashed right now.

"S-Sorry, Nishi-kun. I’ll get off right away… ugh, this squishy stuff’s in the way."

"I’ll climb over the mound first, excuse me."

After the Saintess duo made it over the pile of goo, Azuma—probably the heaviest—finally got off too.

The pressure on me cut in half just from that. Azuma, how much do you weigh?

He’s not fat, so it’s gotta all be muscle, right?

That’s terrifying.

"Alright, our turn. Minami-chan, can you move?"

"Yes… though my ears still hurt…"

Nishida carried the wobbly Minami as he cleared the area.

Alright. That’s enough.

Now I can finally move. Time to get out of this hellhole…

"Kitayama… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to marry now…"

"You were the one moaning from Daikonmaru tugging your ears. Let’s go, Princess."

"Do you have to say that!? Why would you say that out loud!?"

"Pigyu."

"See? Daikonmaru agrees."

"That doesn’t help at all!!"

I don’t get it either.

Anyway, I tucked both royals under my arms and plopped Daikonmaru on my head as we climbed over the squishy mountain.

Seriously, what is this stuff?

Grimacing all the way, I rejoined the rest of the group.

[Kitayama… this might be bad.]

"Huh?"

The dragon girl turned toward me with a pale face.

[That roar just now—and the presence I felt getting closer… I figured it out.]

"Oh yeah? So?"

[Look directly above us.]

We all looked up—and were greeted by one seriously disgusting ceiling.

It looked like the kind of decaying mess you'd see in a horror movie set in some rundown mansion.

I mean, it was bad. Bits were peeling off, and what looked like skin was dangling and swaying down in places.

Even the hole we got spit out from was still oozing that unidentifiable goo.

Dungeons really have crap taste in decor.

I turned back to Kana, still grimacing.

"And?"

[If I said we’re currently beneath a rotting dragon’s belly… would you believe me?]

"..."

[It’s still moving too. Whether we run or fight, staying here is seriously dangerous… ha ha ha.]

"Full retreat!!"

Apparently, the thing that cushioned our fall and saved us from splattering to death… was the dragon’s intestines.

And according to Kana, it was a dragon zombie.

No wonder it stinks like death, and no wonder that squishy stuff was squeezing in from all directions.

We had just crawled through a corpse’s guts. Not just gross—horrific.

Screaming from it would be the least you'd do.

We literally crashed through its body and got dumped right inside. Its intestines, no less.

I feel like I'm gonna catch some kind of unholy disease.

"Run, run, RUN! I’m not hunting dragons twice, let alone three times!!"

"I hate dungeons! I hate them so much!!"

"I hate dungeons toooo!!"

"Why is there a dragon in a place like this!?"

Shouting whatever came to mind, we broke into a full sprint, fleeing the area like our lives depended on it—which they very much did.

There was no time to scope out our opponent.

It was a dragon. Again. Another dragon.

And this one wasn’t in some cocoon or restrained—it was completely free.

There’s only one choice in that scenario: run.

But hang on.

Wait just a second.

Don’t tell me this dungeon’s final boss is that thing?

We don’t even know how to get out of here!

"You’ve gotta be ki

dding meee! Who the hell designed this dungeon!? They’re definitely a goddamn moron!!"

With that scream of despair echoing behind us, we charged deeper into the forest that spread out before us.

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