3 idiot chapter 135

 Episode 135. Strategy Meeting

"Alright, with that said—First Strategy Meeting of the Voyage!"

"Whooo! Clap clap! Took you long enough!"

"This is usually something you do before setting sail, y’know?"

I got some comments from Nishida and Azuma, but whatever.
We’re having this meeting because now there's a reason to.

And since I hate anything too formal, we’re doing it over a meal.

We’re putting our full BBQ setup to use—grill, fryer, Woks.
Since we found out we can’t earn money here, we’ve returned to the beach.
We’re staying on the ship tonight. Being broke sucks.
We do have money, just… not enough to spend without thinking.

"So, uh… well, I’m sure you all heard already, but apparently there’s no Walker Guild here. Which means—no jobs for us."

As I started explaining the situation, the Captain raised his hand smoothly.

"Captain. We were never Walkers to begin with, so even if there were a guild, we couldn’t take jobs. In light of that, I suggest we shift the cost burden to our home country—"

"Thank you for the suggestion, very helpful. And now shut it. I’m not taking on more debt. We already got the damn ship—just thinking about it is giving me an ulcer."

Now that he mentioned it, the only Walkers here are us "Hearty Eaters."
And they’re way more familiar with the local setup than we are.
Honestly, they probably already knew this island didn’t have a guild.

Ugh. That’s embarrassing.

There wasn’t even a reason to gather everyone for this meeting.

I awkwardly started laying out some fried octopus to distract from the moment.

"We’re just gonna have a quick meeting. Can you guys snack on this for now? Sorry, really. Should we go find an inn after this?"

As I scratched my neck and handed over the plate, war immediately broke out on their end.

Alright, not my problem anymore.

"But hey, Kou-chan," Nishida said. "If we can’t earn any money here, what the hell are we gonna do? We’ve got practically nothing worth selling. Maybe those whale horns we got, or the dragon parts. But everything else is pretty worthless."

He’s right. Our bags are full of food, weapons, and not much else.
The stuff we could sell, we already sold to Reed before setting off.
And I already said I was gonna gift the horns… I’d rather make the dragon stuff into souvenirs too…

All we’ve got left are maybe some rare materials that might count as souvenirs.

"Maybe our best move is to use what cash we’ve got to buy food and weapons, then hurry on to the next stop. We can’t get decent materials from small fries… I mean, we either ate or used up most of ‘em anyway."

Exactly. The octopus, crab, fish…

There’s hardly anything left that isn’t edible.
And whatever we couldn’t eat, we turned into bait.
Even the magic stones we can extract are tiny, not worth much.
Better to use them to charge our gear.

"If we start selling the food and weapons we have, we’d be back at square one. And besides, we’re trying to bring seafood back as souvenirs… We might be able to find food along the way, but weapons? No way to restock at sea. I think those should be our priority."

Yeah, exactly.

Maybe Azuma’s right—just bulk-buy now and get out of here.

"It’s wild that you can say ‘we’ll figure out food along the way’ and actually mean it."

[Well, it’s true. Should we butcher more dragon parts while we’re at it?]

Everyone started chiming in, but I just groaned and tilted my head, stumped.

Seriously… what are we gonna do?

And just then—

"Hey, hey, young folks! Mind if this old man joins you?"

"Huh?"

We turned toward the sudden voice to find an elderly elf walking toward us—carrying not one, not two, but three giant bottles of liquor.

What the hell? Some drunk old man?

"Here, brought souvenirs for the entry fee. Expensive stuff, too—looks like the kinda drink you’d enjoy, eh?"

"Wow, this is shady as hell. You think we’re gonna drink that in this situation?"

"Oh come on, suspicious little runt. Here."

The old guy popped open a bottle, grabbed a glass, poured a drink, and took a big swig.

Then tilted the bottle toward us like, "See? Safe."

So that was his poison test.

"Eh, whatever. Thing is, we’re kinda in the middle of a strategy meeting right now, figuring out what to do next."

"Yeah, I heard. It’s a money problem, right? I’ve got a little something to tell you about that—relax, young man."

Grinning like he knew everything, the geezer poured me a glass.

Seriously, who is this guy?

"And you are?"

"Just an old man. Retired now, living the good life in my golden years."

"Really?"

"What’re you so scared for? Do I look like some kind of elite soldier?"

No, not even a little.

I gave him a skeptical look, and he just laughed again, thoroughly amused.

"Here, have a drink. Got any snacks?"

"If you’re fine with magic beast meat, we’ve got all kinds."

"Oho, magic beast meat, huh? Now that’s something. I’ve never had that before."

Figures.

I didn’t feel like explaining it all from scratch again, so I just sighed and waved my hand like, go on, dig in.

"Aah, so if you're looking for more normal snacks, you'll need to go back to town—"

"This is delicious! Much richer in flavor than your average fish!"

"LISTEN FIRST! Eat after you listen!"

"You lot are eating it, aren't you? So it's edible, right? That means the poison test's already been done."

…Are most elves just weird?

No, no. That kind of thinking's no good. Nakajima would scold me for that.

Still, this old guy’s energy is exhausting.

"Sigh... whatever, it’s fine. So, gramps, what’d you come over here for?"

"I saw the commotion earlier today—you're Walkers, aren’t you? I figured you might be interested in a dungeon. Walkers and dungeons go hand-in-hand, after all! Interested, right?"

The old man grinned, lips curling up like he already knew what we'd say.

So this country does have a dungeon worth money, huh?

And he’s implying we could actually make a living there.

Which is why—unanimously—we answered:

"“““Not even a little bit interested.”””"

"That's what I thought, that's what—HMM!? What did you brats just say!?"

"“““We hate dungeons.”””"

"What kind of Walkers hate dungeons!? One big score! Treasure chests full of rare goods! From what I saw earlier, you guys clearly have the skills! So why!?"

"“““You can’t eat dungeons.”””"

"Wha—what the hell are these people saying!?"

Apparently pushed past the limits of his understanding, the old man looked pleadingly toward Minami and the Saintess for help.

"Um, allow me to explain. For now, please sit down."

Letting out a tired sigh, Minami gestured for him to take a seat, and he shuffled over and sat down.

"So everyone here dislikes dungeons?"

[I’m not really a fan of cramped places either. Everything’s weak in there anyway.]

"At our size now, I think they’re plenty spacious, though?"

"There’s always some odd girl saying weird things…"

The Saintess group spoke with their usual easygoing tone, but for the old man, it seemed to only deepen the shock.

…………………

…………………

"Sounds like some very peculiar guests have arrived, huh?"

"Yes, ma'am. Apparently ‘humans’ so fearsome even our soldiers shrank back in terror."

"How amusing. I suppose waiting all this time was worth it after all—seems entertainment does come walking in eventually. Makes the boring tasks worthwhile, doesn’t it?"

It’s not bragging to say it—our soldiers have extremely high levels.
Most are what human Walkers would consider "masters" or higher.
And yet even they were shaken. That means these humans must be the real deal.

Just thinking about it gives me chills.

Grinning softly, I raised my fan toward the kneeling soldier before me.

"Bring those ‘humans’ to the castle immediately. With the utmost care and formality—see to it there are no issues. I wish to see them for myself."

My heart hasn’t raced like this in a long time.

Elves live long, dull, unchanging lives.
That’s why we crave entertainment.

What must those forest-dwelling elves think about, living for a thousand years in seclusion?
Aren’t they just like the bugs crawling in the dirt?

That’s what I tend to think… but people call me the weirdo.

We hunger for novelty, for stimulation. That’s why our island became known as a place where all kinds of goods converge.
We built a nation open to anyone. It’s the reason we’ve never faced famine.
But even so…

Every once in a while, I want something that really gets my blood pumping.

And just as I was sipping my wine in a cheerful mood—

"Actually, um... about that. The former king—err, the old man—he already made contact with them."

"PFFFFT! WHAT!? You mean Grandfather already met them!?"

I spat out my drink and yelled without thinking.

This is bad. Really bad.
Our grandpa’s an even bigger eccentric than I am.
Whenever he sees something unusual, he jumps at it without hesitation.

And now he’s gotten to these ‘humans’ first—humans so powerful they scared our soldiers?

Without a doubt—

"He’s going to take it… My entertainment…"

"Yes, without a doubt."

"Nooo! I’m going to run out right now and go meet those people! I’ll give them lots of money and beg them to entertain me!"

"Princess! You mustn't speak so recklessly! You absolutely must not appear casually in the city like—"

"I'm not a princess anymoreee! I’ve been the king since ten years agooo! Stupid Grandpa! Why does he always steal his granddaughter’s fun!? So immature! I’m going now!"

"Princesssssss!?"

Leaving the soldier's scream behind, I leapt out of the window.

It’s been ages since I had real entertainment—my heart was pounding with excitement.

There’s no way I’m letting Grandpa hog it all to himself.

"Stuuuuupid Grandpa! Don’t think you get to enjoy everything aloneeeee!"

I shouted as I dove into the night streets.

I do boring, tedious work every single day.

I’ve kept this country’s economy running well enough to feed all our elf citizens without famine.

So—just this once—shouldn’t it be okay?

To let loose and have a blast?

"Now then, where could the 'Black Walkers' who scared our soldiers be hiding?"

Just searching for them makes my heart race.

What kind of people could they be?

How did they reach such a high level despite being short-lived “humans”?

My mind is flooded with questions, and my whole body aches for answers.

I want to know everything.

I want to hear their tales, their impossible experiences—an adventurer’s story.

Thinking all that, I dashed across the rooftops, racing through the night sky.

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