3 idiot chapter 145

Episode 145. The Small Animals

"Shaaaaah!"

"Kou-chan, three o’clock! Another ‘refill’ coming in!"

"I’ve got the front covered! I’ll take everything over here!"

"One at six o’clock too—wait, never mind, that one’s harmless!"

Amidst the flurry of voices, we were going wild.

The deeper we delved, the stronger—and more numerous—the enemies became.

On top of that, this dungeon was just bizarre.

The beasts and monsters here were absurdly tough.

To be honest, it wasn’t even comparable to any dungeon we’d faced before.

"Ugh, enough already! There’s no end to them! ‘Bind’!"

[Kitayama! Want me to wipe them out with a big breath!?]

"If you keep blasting like that, you’ll run out of mana! Save your strength!"

[Tch… you’re right. Sorry, didn’t mean to be a burden.]

"Don’t apologize! This kinda thing always happens!"

Shouting back, I slammed my spear into the charging rhino’s head.

And yep—it broke.

At this rate, we might not even have enough weapons left.

We were starting to think about turning back, but a swarm of beasts kept pouring in from the direction we came.

We couldn’t even retreat properly.

"Kitayama! I’m going to block their line of sight—use that moment to break through! There’s no end to this otherwise!"

"I agree with that! I’ve no clue how long my mana’s gonna last either!"

Even the two who should’ve been used to this dungeon were clearly winded.

Damn it, we really might have to retreat while scouting for a path downward.

"Everyone, we’re pulling back! We don’t have the weapons to take them all on! Find a way down while we retreat!"

Shouting that out, Azuma—who was brawling with an elephant beast—and Nishida—fighting a giant bird midair—rushed back to us.

"But seriously, what now? We still don’t know where we’re even heading."

"If we were just running straight, fine, but if we’re searching as we go… we’re definitely gonna have to keep fighting."

Their strained voices told me what I already knew.

But continuing to clash head-on like this wasn’t going to get us anywhere.

And more importantly, we were seriously running out of weapons.

Just as I was thinking that—

"Seven o’clock—ah geez! It’s that kid again!"

Minami’s ears twitched as she fired her crossbow repeatedly, her voice full of frustration.

And sure enough, our guest appeared once again.

"Daikonmaru! I’m begging you, stop wandering around during emergencies! Just go back! Go back to the previous floor!"

Looking back, there he was—Daikonmaru, having finished his grilled skewer, holding the now-empty twin skewers in both hands and staring up at us.

What even is this thing? Why does it keep following us?

And why does it keep carrying those skewers?

"Pya."

"No, not ‘Pya’! I’ve never heard a Daikonmaru make that sound before!"

Snapping at the little companion trotting after us, I hurled a spear at the next charging beast.

How many do I have left?

Can we even reach the bottom at this rate?

Even if we wanted to retreat, unless the dungeon suddenly “calmed down,” we’d have to fight just as many on the way back.

This is seriously an unwinnable game.

As I was being consumed by those thoughts—

"Pyah!"

"Oww, the hell?!"

That weird cry again—Daikonmaru leapt at me and jabbed one of his skewers into a gap in my armor.

Right through the spot with no inner padding or chainmail—dead on.

I was about to yell “What the hell are you doing?!” when he suddenly landed with a nimble thud and pointed his skewer in a specific direction.

"…Uh."

"It’s a gamble! But staying here ain’t doing us any favors!"

"I don’t know if we can trust him, but we might as well try! Even if we retreat, we’re just guessing anyway!"

Spurred by the shouts of my comrades, I let out a massive sigh and then yelled.

Whatever happens, happens.

"This is a test run! If it doesn’t work out, we’ll just grit our teeth, clear out this floor, and head back to the surface! Got it!? Go, Daikonmaru! Lead the way!"

With that, Daikonmaru took off running.

And fast—seriously fast.

Unlike the rest of us flitting around in every direction, he ran in a perfectly straight line, making him all the quicker.

Not wanting to lose sight of that tiny silhouette, we all broke into a sprint.

"Master! Multiple beasts approaching from the rear! Large types included!"

"Toss the red herbs! We’re bailing—no point wasting weapons! Nishida, get up front! Don’t you dare lose sight of Daikonmaru!"

"On it!"

"K-Kitayama-san! You’re so fast!"

[You three idiots! Help meee!]

"Azumaaaa!"

"Nozomi-chan, over here! I’ll carry you!"

Amid shouts and screams, we ran for our lives.

Chasing that little shadow.

And if this leads to a dead end… I swear I’m eating Daikonmaru.

After all this time avoiding Mandrakes in this world, I’m breaking the rule and taste-testing one.

That’s what I told myself as I kept moving my feet.

"Ki-Kitayama… sorry, my old man is about to hit his limit."

"S-Sorry… this is a bit too much for an old guy like me…"

Clicking my tongue, I hoisted one of the royals up under my arm.

Right now, I’m full sprint inside a dungeon (lol) packed with dreams and adventure, in a desperate situation due to a weapon shortage, while carrying an old man and chasing a radish. (That ‘lol’ is from the usual ‘kusa’ in the raw, not me Ad-lib them)

What is this? What the hell is this?

A dungeon is supposed to be a place where you chase dreams and fateful encounters, isn’t it?

Like rescuing a girl in trouble, surrounded by monsters.

Or stumbling on a ridiculous fortune and striking it rich.

Is it really wrong to want that kind of stuff?

Isn’t it okay to have just one good thing like that?

That’s what I’d like to say, but instead, let me put it this way:

Screw this.

There’s no dreams or hope in a dungeon—not even treasure lying around.

All you find are garbage-tier drops and hordes of stupid monsters.

Expecting anything from a dungeon is a mistake.

At the very least, our experience says so.

And that’s why I—we—hate dungeons!

"Daikonmaru! Are we there yet!?"

"PigyaaAAAA!"

"Yeah, thanks for the sound I’ve come to know! But I still can’t understand a single word you’re saying!!"

Just as I shouted that, my foot sank.

"Huh?"

I could see the ground. The earth was right there in front of me.

And yet—

Just like falling into water, my foot slipped right through it.

The moment I stepped forward, my leg dropped through the ground.

Like it was just a painted backdrop—no substance at all past that point.

And we were in the middle of a full sprint.

No way we could stop in time.

"Whoaaa!? Wait wait wait!? A trap!? You’re giving us a trap now!?"

"What the fu-!? What the heeell!?"

"Since when were we beta testing this dungeon!?"

"A-All of you, stay close together!"

We fell—yep, fell, all of us.

So much that I felt like I was on a bungee jump I’d never asked for.

Of course, there was no rope. Just the fall.

"Hiiieeeeeeeee!!"

[Grow wings! Now’s the time to grow wings, Nozomiii!!]

"Ahh… yeah. I’m dead. This is definitely the end."

"I had a good life…"

"Pigyuuu!"

I’ve had enough.

Seriously. For real.

I absolutely HATE dungeons!!

……………

"Ah."

A soft voice slipped out as that thing I missed fell to the floor.

"

Kua-san? That’s rare."

The children quickly came running with a broom and dustpan to clean up the cookie I dropped.

The directional cookie had hit the floor and shattered completely.

And just to top off the bad omen, one piece for each direction—north, south, east, and west—fell perfectly.

Let’s just hope it’s not a sign of bad luck... I thought, while still offering a smile to the kids.

"I’m sorry, I wasted a perfectly good cookie."

I let out a light, apologetic laugh, my eyebrows drooping.

"It’s okay! We’ll give it to the squirrel!"

"Squirrel?"

I tilted my head, puzzled, as the kids gathered the cookie bits and dashed outside with the dustpan.

Looking at them through the window, I saw a rather large “squirrel” running toward them.

Wait, what? Are my eyes going bad?

It looked so massive—like something out of a dream.

"Wh-What!? Everyone!? That thing’s a magical beast!!"

"We were surprised at first too, but it’s just a normal squirrel. A really fat one."

"Your Highness!?"

Before I knew it, Her Highness—the Queen, not the Princess—was standing there with a satisfied look, holding a freshly baked cookie.

Or more precisely, snacking on one.

Honestly, the kids in this place all call her ‘Princess,’ so I just got used to thinking of her that way too…

"U-Um…"

"Kua-san, your cookies are just as delicious as ever. I can’t get enough of them."

"Ahh… thank you."

Even as we were talking, the kids were feeding that unusually large squirrel the crumbled cookies.

Are you sure that’s not a magical beast? Really?

It’s huge—about the size of a cat.

Where did the kids even find it?

And why does Her Highness know about it when I don’t?

Clearly, she’s been visiting the Hearty Eaters’ place behind my back and giving them permission for all kinds of things.

What is she doing…?

Those were the thoughts running through my head when—

"I’ve been looking for you, Your Highness."

"Pigyaa!?"

Out of nowhere, Hatsumi-san appeared and firmly grabbed Her Highness’s head from behind.

…Is that really okay? To handle royalty like that?

"These days, you’ve gotten quite good at hiding, haven’t you? The kids have been helping you out too. But you know what? My little ones are very smart. When I explain who gives them more rewards and what happens when you go missing… they tell me everything."

"Tr-Traitors!"

"I-don’t-care. We’re going back now. Break time’s over."

"Kua-saaaan! Heeelp—"

And with that, the two bearers of the “Shadow” title disappeared into my shadow.

I mean… wow.

Is it really okay for royalty to feel this casual and familiar?

Feels like I’ve seen her at least once a week lately.

"A-Anyway… let’s get back to baking—hii!?"

When I turned around, that giant squirrel from before was plastered to the window.

Behind it stood the children, proudly holding it up.

"Look, Sister! It got even bigger again!"

If it were a normal pet, I’d be happy, but something that big only fills me with fear.

"E-Everyone, listen. You get that it looks exactly like a magical beast, right? If you let it roam around the city, it’s going to cause a huge panic…"

"It’s okay! We told ‘Emergency Rations’ not to leave the Home!"

"Uh, yeah? I don’t really get what you mean by that…"

"We trained it with food and taught it properly! But it’s never even tried to go outside!"

It seems even the squirrel understands that it’ll get fed if it stays here.

So far, it hasn’t shown any aggression toward the kids and is calmly letting them mess with it.

Still… is it really safe?

At that size, it must be incredibly strong…

"Are you sure it’s okay? No one’s gotten hurt?"

"We’re fine, Sister! ‘Emergency Rations’ is super quiet and well-behaved!"

"Right… sorry, can I just ask one more thing? What have you all been calling that thing?"

"""Emergency Rations!"""

"Ah… right. Of course. Never mind, then."

Her Highness seems to have given permission on her own, and the giant squirrel hasn’t caused any trouble yet.

And judging by the way the kids are talking, if anything does happen… they’re fully prepared to eat it.

As expected from the Hearty Eaters’ kids.

They’re tough—more like fearless.

They’re also trained in combat, so they’re probably planning to deal with any trouble before it gets out of hand.

That squirrel may look cute and harmless, but in their hands, it would easily become today’s dinner in a matter of minutes.

And I’m sure they understand that—and are keeping it with that exact resolve.

Really now… I wonder who they take after.

"I won’t allow any behavior that causes trouble for the townspeople, understood? And if it ever hurts someone… it will become dinner. Don’t forget that."

I gave the giant squirrel a light poke on the nose, and it rubbed its cheek against my finger.

…Kind of cute.

I wonder where they even found something like this.

If it were in the forest they usually go to, a normal animal this size would’ve been monster food by now.

"Would you like a cookie?"

When I offered one, the squirrel started crunching away at it with incredible speed.

Looking at it like this, it really does seem like a normal squirrel.

Except, you know… the size.

"Seriously now, where did you even find something this big?"

"Shiro saved it when it was being attacked by a magical beast!"

"Then she fed it, and it got attached!"

"She gave it to us as a souvenir!"

So it was your doing, Shiro-san.

I should probably report this to Nakajima-san, just in case.

I’d like to believe the Director was informed, but… I really hope that’s the case.

"Kua-san, excuse me—I came for a light snack and… wha!? What is that!?"

The Director’s scream from the kitchen said everything there was to say.

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