3 idiot chapter 127
Episode 127. That’s Right, Let’s Write a Letter
“Hearty Eater... um, about the 'dragon meat' today…”
“Shut it. Dragon meat is rare, ya know. I'm offering you something else tasty, and you're still not satisfied?”
“No, you're right... after our failure today, I've got no right to complain. Honestly, I’m grateful you’re even cooking for us. I’m sorry—I was being selfish.”
“As long as you get it.”
...Or at least, that’s what I said all high and mighty.
But these guys eat a ton.
If they keep eating like this every time, there’ll be nothing left to bring back to the orphanage.
Sure, it’s nice that we can break it down into compact parts and sell the extras, but if they go through all the meat too, we’re screwed.
That meat’s for us and the kids, dammit.
Or so I tell myself, like some kind of child trying to justify hoarding sweets.
You lot—our lovely forest experts with those regretful faces—repent as much as you like.
I’ll show you all that tasty food isn’t limited to “dragon meat.”
“Ku ku ku... I think it's ready. Smells damn good, Kou-chan.”
“Fuhahaha! I’ve never had it ‘on the other side’ either, but go on and give it a taste, Nishida. I bet it’s got that real ‘high-end’ flavor! Tasting’s a cook’s privilege!”
“Well then, I’ll take you up on that. Just a small bite... kukuku.”
“You two get into these weird moods sometimes. Not that I mind, I guess.”
Even as Azuma gave them a look of exasperation, Nishida scooped some soup from the large pot into a small dish.
It had a deeper, richer color than usual—beautiful, even. He took a sip.
“UOOOOHHHHH! No way!!”
“How is it, Nishida!? Did it hit!? Is it the kind of flavor a villainous executive would be slurping down!?”
“It smells amazing! Also, Nishi-kun just broke a little.”
The “dangerous” soup Nishida just slurped?
None other than the finished product of shark fin soup.
A super high-class delicacy that, “on the other side,” we’d never have had a chance to taste.
Back in the day, I saw the recipe in a cookbook and scoffed, “Hah, like a commoner like me would ever need this page.” Then I snorted through my nose as I read every single line obsessively.
This was our first time making it, of course. The preparation probably came out a bit sloppy, unlike a pro’s work.
But it was still shark fin.
We got hold of the high-end ingredient locally and put our all into making that soup.
There’s no way it could taste bad.
We dried a decent amount aboard the ship too, but naturally, there wasn’t enough time.
So we ended up with a whole lot of half-dried, not-quite-right stuff.
“This stuff’s gotta go first to the mages who helped with drying and everything. No question.”
“You heard that!? Anyone who helped with the shark fin soup prep, line up! It’s time for supreme soup, baby!”
At the call, the mages who were sprawled out from mana exhaustion suddenly sprang to their feet.
Good to see you’re still lively.
“Still, we can’t afford to run out. Hearty Eater crew, just a taste for now—here you go.”
The soup shimmered with divine color and carried a soft, gentle aroma.
We took it in hand, brought it to our lips...
“Ahhh... it’s hittin’ hard...” (he is high on soup)
“Kita-kun, that reaction is alarming. But yeah—this is good! Seriously good!”
“This is amazing! I’ve never tasted anything like it before—such a strange and wonderful flavor. It slowly spreads from the tip of your tongue with incredible depth.”
[Nishida! One more! A whole bowl!]
“Kana! No! Come on now! ...Still, I’ve never had shark fin soup before…”
This stuff is insane.
I totally get why some evil boss might slurp this with a wicked grin.
Even I couldn’t help but crack a mischievous smile—it was that good.
High-class delicacies really are worth their price.
The texture was smooth, and just like Minami said, the umami gradually bloomed on the tongue.
And this was just a tiny dish! Yet it filled your mouth with saliva like an explosion.
I used to think fancy cuisine was just about using rare ingredients, but...
My whole belief system got flipped on its head.
Then again, the meat we’ve been eating all this time would probably fetch outrageous prices “on the other side.”
But the experience of eating something you know is a luxury item... it’s on another level.
This stuff really hits.
“I hereby order the creation of Shark Fin Soup: Round Two.”
“As you command.”
“Plenty more where that came from. Oh, and this batch of meat’s done too.”
“Shark meat gratin’s almost ready. Those who helped build the oven should get first dibs, right?”
“Alrighty! Everyone else, line up over here! We’ve got fried whale and stewed shark! Delicious stuff, y’all!”
[Let’s get some helpers from the other group to serve too! We’re running out of hands—and food!]
Amidst the bustling chaos, we served food to everyone.
It was all magical beast meat, but no one seemed to care.
Makes you wonder if it’s really okay... but hey, if it tastes good, who cares?
We shoveled food into our own mouths between servings.
“Ahh... ocean bounty really is the best. Should we take more sea-related requests?”
“That’s an idea, but aren’t we crossing the sea again when we head home? Might as well stock up then.”
“Tempting, but I kinda just wanna get back quickly, y’know? Wonder how everyone’s doing…”
Murmuring like that, we kept cooking more food.
We left the distribution to Izley’s merry bunch.
Too many people, man. Serving everyone is a pain.
“If I may... if I were the one left behind, and you, my Masters, were flung far away…”
“And then?”
“I would break. I’d spend each day counting stains on the floor. I wouldn’t kill myself, of course—I’ve been ordered not to.”
“““......”””
You say scary things sometimes, you know that?
I mean, we are kind of like guardians to Minami, sure.
She used to nibble on crusty bread, and now she’s got three square meals and even midnight snacks—of course she’s attached.
Father and daughter...? Nah, I’m not that old. I hope.
Maybe more like a cousin’s kid?
We fed a scrawny stray, and now she won’t leave us alone—that kind of vibe.
And yet...
That presence. That pressure.
“I will never leave you” aura.
Not that it’s a bad thing. Really, it’s not.
But please—stop saying scary stuff, okay?
You’re making us old guys worry even more.
Well, even if no one’s as intense as Minami, I’m sure the others are worried about us too.
From the outside, it probably just looked like we got buried under some rubble.
Well, most of the remaining members are adults, so I think they'll be fine... probably.
Even so, we really ought to let them know we’re safe as soon as possible.
And then there’s the matter of the “Long Bird” the beautiful Branch Manager mentioned.
"Alright, let's write it. A letter."
"Yeah. Let's make sure it's something that won’t worry them."
"Oh! What about that! The food reviews Airi-san used to write every week! If we make it like those, everyone’ll probably feel a lot more at ease!"
And so, we began listing out everything we’d eaten so far.
We weren’t used to writing letters, so naturally we worried about whether the writing made sense or not, or if the wording was off.
Still, we started writing a letter to the comrades we had left behind.
"Uhh… what else? What else should we write?"
"We’ve gotta mention that flying fish we ate first! That was delicious too!"
"True, that one's probably going to become a staple, so we should definitely include it. What else… tiger? Nah, we can skip that. They probably have tigers over there too. Wasn’t all that strong either, so it’s not a big deal."
"Dammit, then we’re starting from the beginning. Flying fish, shark, whale... Oh yeah! Let’s write about the ramen too! If we say we’ll bring some back as a souvenir, they’ll totally love it!"
Laughing and messing around, we wrote the letter addressed to the Branch Manager.
We figured, if we sent it to him, he’d probably pass the word along to the relevant people.
That was about the level of our thinking—pretty casual.
"Um, Hearty Eater... the rest of the food..."
"Just hold on a bit longer! We’re almost done! In the meantime, get today’s hunted game prepped for cooking, got it!?"
"Understood!"
And so, we threw ourselves into the unfamiliar task of letter-writing.
………………………..
………………………..
"Are the Walkers known as 'Hearty Eater' here?"
"Yes, they’re—wait... Branch Manageeeer!?"
Yet again, a shrill voice rang out across the guild, and I let out a deep sigh.
Now what?
Clutching my twisting stomach, I headed for the counter where the noise came from.
"I—I mean, huh? What? I deeply apologize!"
I immediately dropped to my knees and bowed my head in apology.
Standing before me was an elderly gentleman.
Dressed in ordinary clothes, wearing a gentle smile—he looked like nothing more than your average grandpa.
But I recognized that face.
No, it wasn’t just recognition. It was unforgettable.
"I just dropped by for a quick visit today, so no need to be so stiff. You’ll make things awkward for me."
"Uh, yes... understood..."
That same laid-back voice drifted down as I timidly lifted my head. And sure enough, standing there dressed like someone’s kindly grandpa... was someone extremely important.
"So then, are the ‘Hearty Eater’ fellows here?"
"M-my apologies... they’re currently in the forest, and I don’t think they’ll be back for a few days..."
"So they’re busy rushing around, eh... Sounds like they really do work diligently every day, just as I’d heard. Do they take any days off?"
"N-no, ever since they came to this town, it’s been non-stop, running here and there. Even when we told them to take a break or invited them to visit your place, they just kept refusing..."
"Hmm... I was hoping to speak with them, even just for a moment. What a shame."
The old man let out a thoughtful “Hmm” while stroking his long beard.
Give me a break.
Sure, I knew the “Otherworlders” who hung around our guild had ties to the country—but why did he have to show up here in person!?
Where’s his security!? Seriously, what about his escort!?
Surely there’s a whole squad stationed around the guild in secret... right!?
"Well then, I suppose I’ll come back another time..."
With a look of genuine disappointment, the old man turned to leave.
"Ah—um! Would you like an escort!?"
I couldn’t stop myself from blurting it out, but the old man just laughed with a cheerful “Foh-hoh-hoh” and waved a hand.
"Assigning young guards to an old man like me would be a waste of money, don’t you think? Don’t worry about me, I was just out for a little stroll."
"A stroll, he says..."
I nearly let out a “Seriously...?” but just barely managed to swallow it down.
And then—
"What business did you have with 'Hearty Eater'?"
I knew it was impolite, but I couldn’t help asking.
In response, he turned back to me with a broad smile.
"Oh, nothing much. I just wanted to give them a small token of thanks. And I thought I’d take a look at them with my own eyes—those forbidden Walkers known as the 'Black Armor.' I get the feeling... they might share a few of my interests."
"...Sorry, what?"
"Oh, don’t mind me. Just thinking aloud. If possible, I’d appreciate it if you could contact me as soon as they return."
And with that, the old man left the guild.
I stood frozen in shock, the receptionists were completely still, and even the Walkers nearby were left staring blankly as they watched his retreating back.
Ahhh, seriously—ahhh!
It’s always one thing after another!
Why do you guys keep dragging in all these big shots, Hearty Eater!?
"Branch Manager... what should we do?"
Letting out a dry laugh, the receptionist looked my way—only to be met with a sharp glare.
What do you mean, "what should we do"?
This is a direct order.
There's no choice not to follow it.
"As soon as we confirm Hearty Eater's return, we’ll dispatch a Diabird... straight to the castle. And then, and then... ugh, I don't know anymore! What do you expect me to do!? Ugaaaaah!!"
"Branch Manager! Please calm down!"
As the staff tried to soothe me, I was once again shoved back into the branch chief’s office.
"Let’s just have a drink and calm down for now," they said.
...Is that even a normal thing for employees to say?
No, obviously not.
Is it really okay to drink? Because I will.
That's just how ridiculous the recent visitors have been.
Also, the stuff those people keep bringing back is insane.
Merchants, nobles, people from all over are reaching out.
But because they don’t want the attention, the guild can’t openly announce anything.
Honestly, I want to scream, “It was them! These guys hunted that thing!”
And now they’ve signed a direct contract with the Grimgald Trading Company, so the backlash from other nobles and firms is relentless.
Every day we get mountains of letters demanding their share.
"Haaaaaaa..."
I uncorked a bottle of liquor within reach, poured myself a glass, and took a sip.
I’m still on duty.
I’m on duty, and yet I’ve been given permission to drink by my own staff.
What a pitiful branch chief I’ve become.
Is this okay?
Are there any other guild branch chiefs like this?
Of course not.
"I can’t take this anymore... Crow, save meee..."
With a pathetic whimper, I collapsed onto my desk.
I mean, really, I do appreciate it, okay?
Thanks to them hunting those huge monsters, we’ve got valuable materials to sell and now have a direct line to the biggest trading company, Grimgald.
Naturally, our guild's reputation has skyrocketed.
They’ve also resolved multiple crises that had been tormenting the Walkers lately.
From now on, there will be fewer casualties, fewer injuries, and jobs will get done faster.
But the problem is the pace.
Everything’s coming all at once!
What are you guys, cursed or something!?
Like if you don’t hunt creatures ten times your size every few days, you’ll drop dead!?
And it’s not just the reports—actual monster corpses are getting sent over too.
Every time I go to the disassembly room and see one, I get scared all over again.
How the hell are they hunting these things?
"I quit! I’m done being branch chief! Crooow!"
I screamed out in despair, but then sobered up instantly upon realizing: the fastest way to see Crow... is probably by tagging along with Hearty Eater.
"Yeah, nope. Can’t do it. Back to work."
And so, the guild operations continued running smoothly as ever today.
Even though we’re essentially hugging a time bomb that could go off at any moment.
Still, they’re supposed to be in the forest for a few more days.
So if I can just get my stomach under control during that time...
"Branch Manager! Izley-san and the Hearty Eater group have returned!"
Crow... please.
It’s seriously time you married me already.
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